Skirt: Akira, Top: Thrift find, Necklace: F21, Top Hat: H&M, Sunnies: Boutique in China, Wedges: Boutique in China, Watch: Boutique in China, Pink Lipstick: MAC
Boyfriend Jeans: Urban Outfitters, Top: Old Navy, Jean Vest: Urban Outfitters, Top Hat: Thrift find, Sunnies: Urban Outfitters, Shoes: ALDO
I know I’ve been off the grid for quiet some time now. It’s not like I’m drowning and making a post would kill me. Quiet the contrary it’s been eating me up that I haven’t posted the outfits I shot with my dear friend Claire. It’s not an excuse because I can make a post pretty short but I’ve just felt out of it. It’s like a dark cloud is hanging over my head and making my thoughts foggy and distant. I can barely sustain what is being said to me and gathering words to form thoughts seems nearly impossible. I’m thinking the only way to get past that is to write anything that I can. Be it nonsense or not. It’s becoming more and more obvious that summer is ending because with that comes my seasonal affective disorder and things start getting twisted and dark, almost like a dystopia has taken over my mind.
But enough of that, and on to the clothes, so I’ve had these photos for a while now and I really did love the outfits I came up with. Claire is this whimsy, loving, and very giving soul I randomly met on Craigslist about a year ago. We lived together for a brief time and it was such a joy. She loves cooking and would cook up a frenzy for me and friends. Claire looks like a beautiful and darling doll. I wanted to put her in something I’ve never seen her wear and that’s why I went with a neon green shirt with a flare and a loose burnt orange with black striped top. The details included some black wedges, a black top hat, and a dangling silver necklace. Summer is coming to an end but this ensemble is by all means perfect for the last bits of warm weather.
I on the other hand went with an almost completely denim outfit, think circa Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake in the late 90s. I love putting different shades of denim together. I must say the clash makes me feel so hip and cool all while being o so casual. This outfit is something my eating disorder in the past would never allow me to wear. It incorporates jeans and a shirt with horizontal stripes. Both of which my ED would tell me make me look bigger than I am and only thin people can pull off. I say suck it ED, I finally found the perfect boyfriend jeans that I feel comfortable in and stripes are just a wardrobe staple that is nonsensical to deprive myself of. I hardly ever go without wearing something on my head. Maybe its because I hardly ever wash my hair and want to cover of the oils that start to become evident after a while or maybe its because hats are my go to accessory. It never lets you down and it acts as a protective shield for me. So in this case I went with a purple top hat a lot like Claire’s. I adore me a good ole top hat. It really can add that extra pizazz an outfit lacks at times.
My mind may be failing me slightly lately but I shall not give up this fight. I’ve come too far, climbed to high, and looking back is only a reminder of what needs to be different. I won’t allow my illnesses to rob me further of my creativity and passion to learn more and be more. I basically wont settle.
“The clothes looked ordinary but after Juanna matched them they looked gorgeous and unique. I like the style she made for me. When we prepared to have the photo shoot, I felt embarrassed and didn’t know how to pose. Juanna instructed me and made me feel relaxed. So in the end the pictures looked very nice and natural. I like her photography because she can capture a beautiful moment even when you are not aware of it. Thanks sweetie. Love you.”